Named for a boy, but we know better.
The pain has been really bad the past few weeks. I have also been eating like relative shit. And I don't feel healthy in general even though I haven't been eating like objective shit. I miss my overwhelming number of veggies every day. They make my whole body happy.
It is the semester's crunch time, and I know that I can only handle so much at once. I can't feed myself awesomely when I've got lots of deadlines. Something will fail. So I'm just going with the flow despite the worsening pain.
I really don't understand how the medical world has failed to determine the cause of vulvodynia and IC so far. For IC, diet change is a standard treatment. Why not, like, FIGURE OUT WHY IT WORKS?!?!
I'm still looking forward to my appointment with the gastroenterologist, but I'm expecting that she will be too rushed/preoccupied/doctorish to devote much consideration to my case. Like the gynecologist who made me feel like if I wasn't dying or having a baby I was wasting her time.
That's why vulvodynia and IC aren't very far along medically. Aside from all the other reasons, they aren't life-threatening. Attention and dollars go there first.
I'm just not convinced that either vulvodynia or IC is as mysterious as the medical community thinks them to be. It's just that no one's been paying enough attention to connect the dots.
Most of the time these days, what I really need is a hug. I don't even care about the pain anymore. I just want a three- or four-week Jupiter-sized hug. I want to be hugged until my body is saturated with hug and I drip it wherever I walk.