Saturday, April 25, 2009

Late-Night Update

Apartment: all disorder reordered except in the bedroom, which is one giant laundry basket.

Abdomen pain: moved on to right side today after several days very dull on left.  Come out, come out, whatever you are!

Gut appointment: made, May 19, first week of summer break.  She's an internist too.  I'm thinking that's a good thing.  Slowly concocting succinct speech that will invoke her scientific curiosity and make her care about figuring this out.  Worst possible scenario: she tells me I've done everything I can do.  Better than not knowing.

Coochie pain: roaring on and off.  No -- screeching.  My coochie was screeching today, a car pealing out.  Had some potentially flaring things recently, like black tea.  Hoping we'll get back on course after a few days eating better.

Nose: I might be up this late because there is something that blooms or grows or otherwise spews histamine triggers into the air at night -- ONLY at night -- living under my floorboards.  What is this thing?  It has my coffee table half-covered with tissues.

Me: I have so much schoolwork to do, but I'm exceptionally calm.  Usually I would be very -- as I call it -- "chemical" right now, mired in bipolar symptoms.  I'm a little wavy, but in most moments I would call my mood "normal."

It reminds me of when I had to leave college mid-semester because I was too sick (bipolar) to function.  I felt very "normal" then too, but only because I was completely avoiding my work and doing whatever I wanted to do.  So maybe I'm not actually in a good place, because yeah, I'm kind of not making progress on my homework these days either.  But there are signs of life: I took a quiz yesterday that I was completely ready for, and I attempted to work at least three times today.


We'll see.  I've got three weeks left and a lot of code to write.  I'm failing to get worried about it, but I think that's a good thing.

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