Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Post-another-shot post

I'm hella depressed.  These shots always stress me out, but I always forget how much.  And other stresses are adding together to make one big pile of Netflix.

My pain has changed.  In fact, it's changing all the time.  I have some burning, but I think I also have a yeast infection.  (TMITMITMITMITT.)  So I can't tell if I really have burning or if I just have a party.  A party I've tried to douse with things that burn so bad (Monistat) that I can't keep using them.

There's this thing out there called YeastAway or something stupid.  It has boric acid in it along with other less proven yeast remedies.  And it doesn't burn.  And I have to find it but you have to keep it in the fridge so I have to go to the places where they keep things in fridges but all those places are much farther away than depression wants to drive.  Well, I went to one.  And they only had regular probiotics.  No YeastThingThatGoesInTheCooch.

The good thing about YeastWhatever is that I rarely have to use it more than a few days.  So I keep the leftover things in my fridge until beyond when I probably should and use them whenever I feel yeasty and so far I haven't started any new species that I know of.

I think Amazon carries it.  Maybe one of these days I'll check.

The other change in my pain is that, like, imagine there were a rod poking through your clit and into your bladder.  And as you move around, that rod zings and pinches and zaps you.  But if you don't move, you can't tell the rod is there.  This pain isn't new.  I've had pain with movement all along.  It's just extra-zingy now, and it's also extra-focused.  It used to be spread all around in three dimensions and now it's essentially one-dimensional pain.  And I don't know if it's like this because other parts of my pain have peeled back or if it's a new and maybe temporary phenomenon caused by the nerve block.

Once my crotch recovers from the Monistat burn (tried it again this morning, duh duh duh duh duh, it's like I tripped and sat on my iron for a minute), I might be able to tell what's going on.  In the meantime, I'm going to try to leave work right when it's time to leave instead of curling up on my desk to take a nap.

I have been taking a nap at work after work for months.  Not every day.  Just a lot of days.  For a long time I was curling up on the floor and then one day I was like, the floor sucks!  It's 0.125" of carpet on top of concrete!  I'm sleeping in this 42" space instead.  And it works.

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