Thursday, October 11, 2012

My cooch experiment, pending

I have a standing desk at work. Actually it's a coffee table on top of my desk. In our small office of five, three of us have this setup. It works. You don't even notice you're standing. Walking away from your desk is swimming away from the edge of the pool. No getting up. Effortless.

Well it's getting colder and the office is too, and I've noticed that when I'm cold I shrink back and perch on my stool. Then I say, get up! But I get up and my butt is cold so I shrink back again. In the market for a snuggie.

So I've been sitting more and every time I get into a pattern of sitting, I get several Damn! moments where I remember that my pain has many more levels above my mostly-standing-or-lying baseline.

And it's so, so clear to me now, after six years of data and a dissertation of theories, that this is nerve pain.

So I am planning an experiment. When I lost my voice for 10 days in 2009, I couldn't go to work because I was a waitress. I was in bed the first few days because I felt sick, but I stayed in bed as I felt better -- with all that lying down, my pain had dropped considerably.

Need I say -- it was awesome.

Well obviously I knew what was up, but I had no insurance and I was probably way down on the notion of seeing more doctors. Plus, I still cycled through theories, knowing that there are other factors that influence my pain -- food, etc.

So my experiment is, the Fabulous: lying down for many days straight! I want to see if I get the same results. Ostensibly it's so I have reinforced data to present to the next specialist, but really? I need hope.

That's what I've been lacking this whole time. Visiting doctor after doctor, trying idea after idea, I got to the point of who cares. I learned to tune the pain out.

But I can still hear it. When I laugh, jump, cough, fart, ow. When I pee. When I shift around or walk. Even when my pain is low, it gnaws at me. Gnaws! Exactly! BAM verb.

It's like a rug burn on your cooch.

iPhone was quick to correct cooch to filch. Yes, iPhone, if filch were a noun, my cooch would be it.

I am excited. I am still undecided about when to schedule my experiment but it really doesn't matter. I'm just stalling. So I'll decide: my experiment will start November 9 and last at least five days. Bam vacation days. May they be the best ever spent.

(Must schedule around period. Also, must keep other variables constant, as much as possible. Ooh that will be a fun post to write.)

I hope you are all well. Vhugs!


  1. "Yes, iPhone, if filch were a noun, my cooch would be it. "

    Okay, THAT had me snorting with laughter and looking for a change of undapants. So funny.

    I forget, have you found a doctor to treat this yet? And if not, have I given you my Doc's info already bc he's fabulous. I just don't remember where you're from. I think we spoke via email before, but alas, I've misplaced the address. I don't think I remember reading that you had tried a nerve block yet?

    Sorry for my silly brain.

    Great post.


  2. Hahaha! Glad I could make you laugh :)

    No, I haven't found a doctor yet. I've *identified* a couple, but I haven't contacted them yet. I haven't tried a nerve block. Haven't even seen a nerve doctor! Crazy, I know.

    I couldn't find you in my inbox. I know we've talked a bit but I think it might've just been through our blogs. ? Anyway, my email address is madpeachblog at gmail. I'm in northeast Ohio. Thanks!