Friday, November 18, 2011

No sugar! No sugar! No sugar!

I was awakened at 3 a.m. this morning by a screeching coochie.  My period is approaching and I've eaten more than a wise amount of sugar the past few days -- the combination of which is always horrible burning pain.

Pre-period without sugar?  Smooth sailing.  With sugar?  Torture.

So, no more sugar.  My period should be here in three days -- and if I stop eating so much sugar, my expectation is that my pain will go DOWN despite the usual premenstrual madness that vulvodynia brings.

You'd think that enough times through this experiment I'd be convinced that I need to avoid sugar, but no -- is it optimism?  Stubbornness?  Am I just hard-headed, or am I a brave champion of "no, vulvodynia will not dictate what I do in life"?

Mostly, I'm an idiot.

No more sugar, especially after ovulation!!!

Note: the sugar I'm talking about is what I'll term "unnatural sugar."  Meaning sugary pre-processed things, including those sweetened with "cane syrup" and other synonyms for added sugar.  Sugar from fruit doesn't bother me, or I don't think it does.  That will be my next sugar experiment, starting December 10, just in time for avoiding Christmassy sugar...

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Doing better for myself

After a particularly long woohoo a few days ago, my right hip started hurting badly.  It was shimmering with pain with the slightest touch and painful to move.

So I did some leg exercises and it started feeling better.  Most movements are not painful.  It still shimmers to the touch, but I'm thinking that will fade with more exercise.

It reminded me that I can take an active role in making my pain better.  Something I've been avoiding for a while because I haven't wanted to think about my pain.

So I am making a plan to resume taking an active role in caring for my body.  Here are my thoughts so far.

#1: Do Exercises Every Day

The central exercises will be the simple leg movements and stretches I've done to soothe the pain in my hip.  These will be a melange of high-school track + physical therapy + Jane Fonda.  Because they're hard to describe, I'll try to find a website that describes several of them for me.

#2: Eat Well

I've written tons on this blog about dietary habits that reduce my pain.  I will return to those habits and again try to home in on the kind of diet that most helps me.

Plan of Action

I am going to start with the exercises because they are a one-time daily activity.  Self-discipline is a muscle -- the more you use it, the better it works.  It is also universally applicable -- if you develop it practicing one task, you can apply it to any other task and it'll perform just as effectively.

So if I start with one activity per day, I can develop my self-discipline and use it in a month or two to start eating better.

I will also start with exercises because it allows for experimentation.  If the only change I make for a month or more is doing the exercises, I'll get to see how much the exercises help my pain.

I will probably wait until after the holidays to start eating better.  I could just make exceptions for Thanksgiving and Christmas -- which I've done in the past -- but my eat-well energy is pretty low these days.  If I develop some self-discipline before changing my diet, I have a better chance of succeeding.

These are the two biggies in feeling better.  I don't have health insurance right now, but these would be some of the best things I could do for myself even if I could afford health care.

It took me 20 minutes to write this blog post when it usually takes me an hour or more.  You'll note that this post is equally effective, if not as amusing for me to write.  Maybe I should develop some better blogging habits to infuse the playfulness with some more useful stuff.  I do get feedback that others appreciate the vulva humor, so I will keep it in my repertoire.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Slutty Costume Rationale Picture Book

For a long time, I couldn't figure out why females are the ones who wear the feathers in our culture.


Shouldn't men be showing off for us instead?


Then I realized that men are always ready for sex...


...and that if women want to have sex, they have to let the men know they're ready.


I was in New Orleans for Halloween, and I felt like I was supposed to demonstrate sexual receptiveness...


...even though I have a boyfriend...


...and tend to shy away from tourists trying to cheat on their wives.


What makes us women compete to be the sluttiest of them all?


Maybe we think every man is Johnny Appleseed, endlessly seeking to sow...


...and that if he senses we're not up for sex...


...he'll wander away.

Sometimes when my cooch hurts, I don't want to see my boyfriend.



But he respects my pain...



...and I'm almost comfortable saying I'm pretty sure he wants to stay with me.

So I want to learn to go and spoon...

...without feeling like things are incomplete.