Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Va-jay-jays, Va-jay-jays Everywhere

When you spend so much time thinking about a certain part of your body, that body part starts appearing...everywhere.

For instance, I've been on a postcard kick lately and so went to the post office to get a book of postcard stamps. The stamps are tropical fruits sliced open and...well, see the picture for the rest of my thoughts.

So far I've used three stamps: one starfruit, one pomegranate, and with the last postcard I forced myself to use a kiwi. The papaya and the guava might be around until the next rate hike because I simply don't feel comfortable sending my postcards out with coochie tattoos.

And then there's shellfish, particularly mussels. I mean, come on! Can anyone eat them without thinking va-jay-jay?!

Sliced tomatoes, shell pasta, peapods, O Magazine. There was graffiti down the street that I could've sworn read "VAGY." I can't say "lips" without internally smirking. I'm becoming a specialized form of Beavis and Butthead -- or maybe a more advanced version as they stuck to wood and boobs and my observations would (huh huh) probably make them blush.

Sometimes I think about making a vulvodynia emblem that could go on blogs and Facebook profiles, but everything I come up with contains a hidden vag. My life is nonstop Where's Vagy? It's like the divine spirit of the universe: once you open your eyes to it, the va-jay-jay is everywhere.


  1. ha ha! I thought it was only me who is plagued with vaginas all over my eyes!
    you know, seeing genitals where there are no genitals is a sign of schizophrenia...
    I've talked about it with my therapist and he says I'm probably not schizophrenic, just obsessed with my crotch. Um, yes.

    Hard not to be.

    As for the international sign for VVD, I like the kitty skull and crossbones on my blog! I lifted it off photobucket, but I'm thinking of having my tattoo guy do it up a little different and having it tattooed on my and drawn up as flash and plastered all over the world.

  2. I love the kitty skull & crossbones as a vulvodynia logo! Of course, the first thing I thought was, how can we work a hidden vag in there?

  3. I spent about eight years unable to eat strawberries because they were so vaginal that it freaked me out. But I'm one of the world's biggest prudes.

  4. Haha, Courtney, that's hilarious. A va-jay-jay phobia! I'm glad you recovered. Hey, you could always blend them!