If you don't want people to comment on your weight, why are you commenting on mine?

Person: Are you getting skinnier?

Me: Relative to you, yes.

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Person: You look skinnier.

Me: Maybe your eyes are getting fatter.

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Person: You're so skinny!
Me: Don't be jealous, you look good too!

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Person: Are you losing weight?

Me: Nope, checked yesterday, still good ol' 125 like I was in high school!

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Person: You're too skinny.

Me: I know, I have great metabolism. I can eat anything I want and never gain a pound.

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Person: Are you eating?
Me: I had six pancakes and four turkey-sausage links this morning for breakfast. What did you have?

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Person: Are you getting skinnier?

Me: Do you know how lucky you are that talking about how fat someone is to her face is taboo?

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Dear (American/Non-Starving) World,

99% of you are fatter than I am. Get over it.

With Sincerity,

Esther