Tuesday, September 20, 2011

I am trying not to get dumped on the equinox

My blog posting spikes in September, every year.  I also go into a mixed bipolar state.  It's like being a violent fairy.

I do not want to get dumped because I am bipolar.  Is Catfish going to dump me?  I'm scared.

I've got to figure out how to short circuit this mood -- or at least how to avoid it next year.  If I escape south in September, can this please not happen?

Or if I hoard nuts like the squirrels on my balcony, will I be able to relax?

Is this about scarcity and long nights?

I love fall.  But it's not fall yet.  Things are still green but there's less light to keep them alive.  When everything is dead on the ground, I'll go march in the woods along the river in worship.  Right now I am panicked that the sun is slipping away.


  1. They say that awareness is the first step, so knowing that you are about to go bat shit crazy should help you prepare for that, no?

    I just stumbled on your blog searching for treatments for this bullshit disorder I have and I am so glad to see that there are so many other women posting about it! We should form a club or something. Broken Vaginas UNITE!

  2. Yes! There are a couple groups on Facebook if you're on there...lots of helpful conversations and support.

    Good luck finding treatments! And yes, awareness is the first step to managing one's craziness. After writing this post I felt much, much better, as in: "I know what's happening. I feel crazy. But as long as I can rein in the craziness and limit its damage, all I have to do is wait it out."