Thursday, July 28, 2011

If you don't want people to comment on your weight, why are you commenting on mine?

Person: Are you getting skinnier?
Me: Relative to you, yes.


Person: You look skinnier.
Me: Maybe your eyes are getting fatter.


Person: You're so skinny!
Me: Don't be jealous, you look good too!


Person: Are you losing weight?
Me: Nope, checked yesterday, still good ol' 125 like I was in high school!


Person: You're too skinny.
Me: I know, I have great metabolism. I can eat anything I want and never gain a pound.


Person: Are you eating?
Me: I had six pancakes and four turkey-sausage links this morning for breakfast. What did you have?


Person: Are you getting skinnier?
Me: Do you know how lucky you are that talking about how fat someone is to her face is taboo?


Dear (American/Non-Starving) World,

99% of you are fatter than I am. Get over it.

With Sincerity,

1 comment:

  1. Thank You!

    Check this out.

    So nice to know I'm not alone!